thesuccub.us

Rob and I were just running past the public park and saw a ten year-old kid on tractor mowing the baseball field.

Why were you doing that kid?

I was having a peaceful drive through Houston’s  lovely third ward yesterday afternoon, when I stopped at a traffic light. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a ratty looking lady ,that I can only assume was a homeless prostitute, heading towards my car. Or course, I had my window rolled down. Whenever homeless people are headed towards my open window, I feel too bad to close it. I don’t want them to think I’m racist or anything, maybe they are just walking down the street.

As luck would have it, not this homeless prostitute. She walked right up to my open window and asked me for money. When I said, sorry I don’t have any, she pointed at a pack of gum hanging out of my bag.

“Gimme a piece of gum then.”

Since I understand the need for a piece of gum, whether you pay for a home or someone pays you for sex, what could I say but yes. We all like to have something to chew on.

As I handed it to her she points to a sweater lying on my back seat. “ok,” she says, “lemme’ get that sweater too?”

Umm.. really homeless prostitute? No.

And the light turned green, thank God.

I want to add a new category to thesuccub.us called “Really Houston?” to include all the bizarre things that I see here on a regular basis. Today I will make the first entry. My hope is that other Houstonites (maybe Emily?) will comment on the odd things they have seen that day.

Really Houston?

Today, whilst jogging on the trail near my house, I saw a man sitting in his car with the door open, and he was leaning out, cutting his toenails with a nail clipper. Really Houston? You couldn’t find anywhere else in your house (READ: your garbage) to do that in?

I sent Rob away to NY for his bachelor party this past weekend,  thinking he’d come back with stories of nudie bars and debauchery, and instead he came back with this gem! This is why I love him, because he appreciates high art.

I got Chinese food, and they forgot my brown rice. Would it be weird to call them and tell them to come back and bring it? Two hours later?

Yeah… probably.