Up until about two weeks ago, a Psychic lived on the corner of my street. Her glowing neon sign enticing driver-bys with “palm, tarot and fortune readings.” She may or may not have had a family of 23 because at least 8 cars were always parked in the driveway, way after normal Fortune-Telling hours. For the past three months the Psychic family have been “moving out.” They have held at least 7 garage sales, two of which I went to, one of which I purchased a desk organizer for two dollars. (I wonder if she knew that I would merely use it to shove unorganized papers in?)
Finally, about two weeks ago, it seemed that the Psychic family was gone. The house was cold, desolate, predictable.
Today, walking up my street I saw two men nailing up a very large sign where once the psychic sign was. This new sign was much larger, blue and half in Spanish. It read – Psychic – Tarot, Palm, Se Habla Espanol.
Huh? Don’t you think that the old Psychic would have possibly seen this coming? And if so, wouldn’t they know that this new Psychic’s business model (Se Habla-ing) would be a success and maybe.. learn Spanish? Or if not, would the new Psychic have known that there happened to be a previous Psychic there and business on the side of a busy road, just don’t bring in the bucks? If they knew that, why wouldn’t they chose an alternate location? And/if the old Psychic foresaw the new Psychic moving in, wouldn’t the old Psychic warn the new..? Or maybe the new knew it was coming but knew something of her own?
Dahh!! Stop! This is just too much fortune telling for me to handle.
If we didn’t already think we were in a worse situation than the Great Depression, we have the Oscar’s recessionerific musical revue to put us back on the food lines of 1929 and kick us while we’re down.. in the red.
There’s a reason we stopped doing musicals H-Town! It’s because they retracted the Hays Code in 1968. Oh yes and because they suck.
Let’s face it. I hate a lot of things in life. People, food, ideas. Why just the other day I was called (affectionately) by my good friend Joanna a “Negative Nancy.” I probably enjoy being a hater more than I should but I can’t help finding all that is evil and wrong with the universe, but as of today I might (probably not though) be a changed woman!
Yesterday, while doing some house work, I pulled a bunch of freshly cleaned laundry out of the dryer. It just so happened to be all of Rob and my work clothes, including two brand new no-wrinkle Banana Republic shirts Rob had just bought. Grabbing another of his dress shirts I notice some yellow funk on the collar. “How did Rob get mustard on his collar?!? And why was he eating mustard with out me?” I mused to myself. Then I noticed that it’s not just on his collar but on one of my sleeves, and on another of his shirts.. there was yellow weird marks all over the entire load of laundry. I almost started crying, what in the world could have done such a horrible thing?
I reached into the various pants pockets and in a pair of Rob’s slacks I pulled out .. a melted vitamin. In my a.m. efforts to start the day off right, I often hand Rob a multi-vitamin to which he shoves in his pocket for later.
Ok, long story short. I happen to have a bottle of OxiClean spray. Like a madwoman, I spray the crap out of the entire load of laundry and throw it back in the wash.
Let me say this – while I love advertisements and will buy any product that is labeled “new” or “limited supply” I never believe that they will do what they say they do. But, this freakin’ OxiClean spray got ALL OF THE STAINS OUT! It was like TV-magic, witch craft, science-fiction! I couldn’t believe my eyes. Clothing can officially be saved!
Thanks OxiClean guy with the gruff voice and obnoxious beard – you have made me a believer.
