thesuccub.us

I’m trying this new thing out so any feedback would be appreciated. Or you know.. 5 dollars too.

Well week one and Obama is already f#@%ing me over.

As you may have heard, the digital transition will not be happening as planned on February 17 but will now move to a later date. Today, yours truly, spent 30 minutes on the phone with an elderly lady that was trying to get her box to work. It didn’t. So I walked her through step by step in wires and co-axles and what not and after 30 minutes of me talking and her not listening – she still couldn’t get digital television.

So why Abby, wouldn’t you be happy about this move in dates? Because.. I am so tired of hearing about the digital transition that I would rather be chained to an uncomfortable chair, with my eyelids pried open and be forced to watch 52 consecutive hours of Tyler Perry’s House of Payne than ever talk about it again. (I am that sick of this digital conversition.. sation.. see!)

And the transition was due to come on the late evening of my 30th birthday which I planned on staying awake all night crying over a bottle of Pomegranate Vodka waiting for the TV to turn to ugly white snow – like the brown color of my hair will soon turn now that I am an older woman that can be called Ma’am – two milestones for me in one shot. Now how am I supposed to spend my birthday?!?

Thanks a lot Obama.

Go sing about freedom in your own country! For the love of God can we just have this for ourselves and let the Boss run the show. Or Bon Jovi.. I’d even prefer someone awful like Sugar Ray or O Town or something?

Today, after several hours at Bed Bath & Beyond, I, starving to death, grabbed a box of 100 calorie Blue Diamond Almond snacks and headed to the check out counter with the rest of my things. At that point in my starvation, I just wanted to pay so I could immediately rip open the damn box and start eating.

As the young check-out girl scanned my items, she paused at the almonds. “These are so good,” she said to me.  I nodded. Yes, I too enjoy almonds.

“I had bought these the other day and was eating  them like crazy but I had to stop because they make you have to go to the bathroom.”

This got my attention. “what?” I said.

“Yeah, I don’t know what it is maybe because they are like 100 calorie.. like diet or something…”

I quickly scanned the box, again, to remind myself that, no they were just almonds carefully proportioned into 100 calorie sized packs so that they could over-charge you for them.

“They are just almonds though.” I replied.

She shook her head, “I don’t know but I kept having to go to the bathroom.”

“Maybe you are allergic to almonds?” Was really the only thing I could come up with to respond.

Why did this girl feel the need to tell me that all the almonds she ate gave her diarrhea? And for God’s sake don’t blame it on the almonds, girl! Is it just me or is that poor customer service.. or not poor, maybe just weird? And gross.

Hopefully by now you know that come February 17 all television will go digital.  If you don’t know by now, you probably aren’t reading this blog. As someone ensconced in the trials and tribulations of the DTV switch, I have to say, that I really would like for it to be over at this point.

As you may have read the Obama Transition Team (that guy’s got a team for everything!) has proposed postponing the switch because the NTIA has run out of money for their converter coupons (long story) So people who may really not be able to afford the $50 or so boxes are S #$% out of luck.

So in swoops old Obama, trying to save everything already, and makes a case for moving the date. But here’s the thing – Congress knew they were going to run out of money in September people! And no one had anything to say about it then… maybe because there was all that campaigning going on. Now that they have given money to everyone and their mom’s cousin, they don’t want to shell out more money for this?

I have to say, it’s disappointing. No, people don’t need TV but lots of people have very little else to make them happy in their lives except for watching Extreme Home MakeOver and praying to God that one day Ty Whathisface calls them. Is it too much to let them have that with their generic cheese balls? While the folks who put this “switch” on the docket have no idea because they have cable and Cheetos brand.

Why is the government 1. allowed to take over the “free airwaves” and 2. not going to help the people that need the “free” part of the airwaves the most?

This country.. I tell ya! Why I outta…  ….  complain on the internet.

2009!! Woo-hoo!!! Thank goodness the awful year that so many of my great friends had in 2008 has come to a close. I know that 2009 will be so much better.

On a personal note – Rob and I had a wonderful whirlwind vacation back East. I have so much to say about it and so many feelings about all of the great friends and family that I saw  that I don’t know if I can even do it justice. SO…. instead of getting all sentimental on you, I will post this very unhelpful video on how to tie a bun in your hair. I will never rely on Associated Content for anything again.

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